I’m a blogger. As a blogger I should be writing on my blog, sharing my astute observations and bright ideas, but this week…well, I don’t seem to have the words I need to put anything before you that is worth reading.
There’s a lot happening here in Vaughanville, but it’s all still so fragile and ambivalent that to say much might just cause it to shatter into a zillion little bits. I can give you a peek as a peace offering until such a time in the near future I can bring you something more substantial.
If this week of my life could have a theme I think it would be “Reconciliation”.
I have been led to re-establish communication with a woman from church. We had a falling out a couple of years ago and, while we agreed to disagree, things have not been the same since. Each time we see one another there is a great deal of discomfort and averting of eyes. I’ve attempted to extend the olive branch on more than one occasion and have been rebuffed each time. This time however, I think the Holy Spirit is leading me and my prayer is that I’m hearing clearly. I’ve established contact via email and have a date to meet with her at church this Sunday. I’m not sure what to say or how to approach the subject of reconciliation. I still feel that I was wronged in the initial exchange and yet…I don’t want to hang on to that anymore. Jesus was wronged and yet he prayed that is offenders would be forgiven, holding no malice for them. That’s what I want and my prayer is that my over active sense of fleshly justice will not hinder me and that she will be as ready to move on as I am.
Also, this week, we’ve had a visitor here. My step-daughter whom we’ve not had much contact with in about ten years has come to see us. I’ve had a stress ball of contradictions in the pit of my stomach for weeks…a conflict of emotions between fear and elation. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what went wrong and why there was a severing…is that the right word? No. Maybe better to say a dwindling of connections between us. Looking back it seems that it was a little of this and some of that added up to nearly a decade of estrangement. It’s heartbreaking really. But now…here she is… grown woman with no one standing between herself and her Dad and siblings. She’s ready to come and go as she pleases visiting us and us visiting her and rebuilding and reconciling. She’s very different now (her religion, her manner of dress, her political views, etc) but in many ways the same (same red hair, same big eyes, same witty personality, same kind heart, etc). My hope is that we can connect on our commonalities, accept with respect our differences and that the Lord will work to restore her to Himself.
So you see? It’s all very uncertain. I feel like if there is one misstep or careless word that all might be ruined and so explains my silence.
"Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation."
There’s a lot happening here in Vaughanville, but it’s all still so fragile and ambivalent that to say much might just cause it to shatter into a zillion little bits. I can give you a peek as a peace offering until such a time in the near future I can bring you something more substantial.
If this week of my life could have a theme I think it would be “Reconciliation”.
I have been led to re-establish communication with a woman from church. We had a falling out a couple of years ago and, while we agreed to disagree, things have not been the same since. Each time we see one another there is a great deal of discomfort and averting of eyes. I’ve attempted to extend the olive branch on more than one occasion and have been rebuffed each time. This time however, I think the Holy Spirit is leading me and my prayer is that I’m hearing clearly. I’ve established contact via email and have a date to meet with her at church this Sunday. I’m not sure what to say or how to approach the subject of reconciliation. I still feel that I was wronged in the initial exchange and yet…I don’t want to hang on to that anymore. Jesus was wronged and yet he prayed that is offenders would be forgiven, holding no malice for them. That’s what I want and my prayer is that my over active sense of fleshly justice will not hinder me and that she will be as ready to move on as I am.
Also, this week, we’ve had a visitor here. My step-daughter whom we’ve not had much contact with in about ten years has come to see us. I’ve had a stress ball of contradictions in the pit of my stomach for weeks…a conflict of emotions between fear and elation. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what went wrong and why there was a severing…is that the right word? No. Maybe better to say a dwindling of connections between us. Looking back it seems that it was a little of this and some of that added up to nearly a decade of estrangement. It’s heartbreaking really. But now…here she is… grown woman with no one standing between herself and her Dad and siblings. She’s ready to come and go as she pleases visiting us and us visiting her and rebuilding and reconciling. She’s very different now (her religion, her manner of dress, her political views, etc) but in many ways the same (same red hair, same big eyes, same witty personality, same kind heart, etc). My hope is that we can connect on our commonalities, accept with respect our differences and that the Lord will work to restore her to Himself.
So you see? It’s all very uncertain. I feel like if there is one misstep or careless word that all might be ruined and so explains my silence.
